Rationalise

I say that I hate kids,
Actually I have no confidence in bringing up one.

I say that I have no time for a relationship,
Actually I find it hard to mantain one.

I say that I don't like to go out,
Actually I'm shy to meet new people.

I say that I choose to stay in Singapore,
Actually I have no guts to survive overseas.

I say that a degree is no important,
Actually I fear to go back to school again.

More often than not, I try to cover up my incompetence with rationalisation. I try to find a reason which seems right, to hide my lack of confidence. Note that I use "I" instead of "we" like most of my post. Cause reading back, I felt that most of the time I was talk about "me" more than "we". Guess admitting is the first step to breaking out.....

Future

To monotone 3 yrs from now:

The problem with planning for your future is, you don't know the deadline. You never know if the next moment you will live or die. How can you make a 10 yr plan if you only have 10 minutes of life time left?
I've been think hard about my future recently. Don't get me wrong, my life is good now. I'm happy with things the way they are. But the problem with me is that I don't like to get too comfortable with my life. If I continue with what I have now, 20 years down the road my life will be the same. What's the point of living 20 years of the same life?
Trust me, 20 years down the road you don't want the greatest archievment of your life to be just a kid or a wife. Don't get me wrong, raising a family IS a great archievement but there are greater things out there. I wan to live knowing that every year I will be archieving something greater than the previous year.
While planning for the uncertain future, there are things that will be certain. Your sibling's marriage, your marriage. and even years down the road your parent's funeral. It might be "unlucky" to even think of it, but these things will happen. Don't be sad.
So whats the point of this post? Well after living a few months of my life feeling that my life will stuck like this forever, I recently have new found hopes in breaking throught. My life doesn't have to be this way. Since I'm unattached, still young and have no burden of family, I don't really have any reason to stay here anymore.
So monotone if you are reading this now in 2008, your carrer has hit a bottle neck and you haven't found any reason to stay here anymore. Just go and don't return anymore, the world is out there waiting for you : )

Manhood

Most of my friends know that I'm an avid reader of comics. My interest spans across most comic genre from American graphic novels to Japanense manga and one particular type which most guys don't touch is the "Mei Shao Nu" comics.
Yeah those large watery bambi eye girls with their faggoty prince charming on pink covers. I'm not proud to say that i read these, much less that its one of my favourite sets. The art is cute and the stories are well written. But It's always a feat to buy these pink books in bookstores.
So today I was at bugis Kino and I was queeing up to buy the latest issue of one of my "Mei Shao Nu" set. When its finally my turn, I pass the comic to the gal at the counter. She took the book and show it to the cashier, a cute china gal.

Cute China Gal : Turn to book around, I can't see the price tag.
Gat at Counter : Aiyah , You see the title you should know the price wat.
Cute China Gal : I DUN READ this kinda stuff. I very MAN one.....

At this very moment, a crow fly passed somewhere in Beijing . And in a backalley of Shanghai, a breeze of cold wind blows.....

I looked at them and 3 reactions come to mind. I could
A) Lie that I'm buying it for my sister/girlfriend/mother
B) Go into a 15 min monolouge about how manly its is to read "Mei Shao Nu" and how it have changed my life
C) Pull down my pants, point between my legs and show her what is a MAN.... But i fear that she will scoff at the mere size of it.... trust me the air con was damn cold...

Instead I pretend that I didn't heard it. Damn, I wouldn't buy books from Manly Cute China females again -___-'''

On the topic of small manhood, I recently watched this documentry title "My Penis and I". Its about and amercian guy with a really small dick. When watching the clip in the office, my colleagues and I watch in anticipation how small is it.
Most of us secretly hope that its really small. Imagine watching the clip and saw that its of the same size as yours. Ouch!
When I finally got a glimps of it, I'm shocked. Its like a giraffee with no neck. Its a size that makes Japanese guys beam with pride. Its a tragical comedy. Its "My penis and I".
The show ends of the guy casting his manhood in a mold, to make a replica of his penis. He sadly holds the "little model" in the end and said, "Yeah, that's my penis, small and cute". Our hearts goes out to him....
Imagine they make a black dude version of "my Penis and I". You will see a nigger holding his 10 inch manhood and crying "Why am i born like this? Why is it so small?" @__@'''
Yeah Nigger Rocks!

IMHO

(The followin post is from my humble opinion. At any point of reading, if you feel offended, you are entitled to swear at me 3 times. If it accumulates to 15 curses, you can exchange it for 1 kick in my nuts. Terms and conditions applies*)


If you scroll to the lower right of this blog, you might notice a little discussion goin on. Personally I don't really mind but one little thing about it just irritates me..... This discussion has no point at all!

I dunno what is the main goal of this discussion cause from what i can foresee it has no ending. A discussion is for both party to come to a common understanding but this little discussion is based on totally different grounds. So what's the point? If the final goal is just to prove who is right then it's not a discussion, it's just an arguement.

Which brings me to my next point. What sparks off the arguement? If my previous post "The weaker sex" make you guys so angry, I will take it off.

End of the day, men can't live without women and women can't live without men. Cause our very existance is made possible by the same union.

Despite all the feminists who proclaims their love to hate men, they secretly hate to love men. Trust me, the day that all women hate men is the day I change my job to a dildo salemen (You can feel free to try my products cause its painful for me to give demonstrations, no puns intended).
How about men? How can we hate women? We are horny like 98% of the time ( which only gives us 2% of our time to think of food)

So who will win this arguement? I think victory belongs to the person that wants it the most. Cause if it matters so much to you, you win : ) So lets just sit back and see how it'll turns out ok? Hope I don't need to start printing dildo catalogues.

One final question: who's the lucky wimp who dated fraffiti?


(*Promotion valid till 31 of Dec. Items are non transferrable. Participants must bring along IC and a valid reason to redeem. Each Swear must not exceed a combination of 3 words. Swears can be in any languages. Only 1 Kick in the nuts can be redeemed each day. Participants are only given one practice aim and a kick. We will not be responsoble for failure to hit target.)

Theme Song

Everyone has a theme song which spoke of their lives, or at some point of time can really relate to. Mine happens to the the infamous suicide song "Gloomy Sunday"
I prefer lyrics more than tunes in a song and this song is beautifully written. The English version has been sung by Sinead O'connor , Sarah Mclachlan and my favourite version by, Bjork.

~Gloomy Sunday~

Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless.
Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless.
Little white flowers will never awaken you,
not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you.
Angels have no thought of ever returning you.
Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?
Gloomy Sunday.

Gloomy is Sunday, with shadows I spend it all.
My heart and I have decided to end it all.
Soon there'll be candles and prayers that are sad, I know.
But let them not weep, let them know that I'm glad to go.
Death is no dream, for in death I'm caressing you.
With the last breath of my soul I'll be blessing you.
Gloomy Sunday.

Dreaming, I was only dreaming.
I wake and I find you asleep in the deep of my heart, dear.
Darling, I hope that my dream never haunted you.
My heart is telling you how much I wanted you.
Gloomy Sunday.

The first 2 verses are directly translated from the original hungarian version. While the third stanza is added in the English version to "tame down" the song. So, What's your theme song?

Question And Answer

"How will the crippled travel?
What does the blind man sees?
What song touches the deaf man's heart?"
That's what the mute asked me.

"The crippled will fly with wings of hope,
The blind sees strength in the dark,
The deaf will dance to the song of love,
Just like how you talked with your heart."

Everyday is easier, with a little bit of faith : D

I Swallow not Spit

Dun be mistaken by the title, I'm not giving away free blowjobs.
Nowadays, I've notice that I swallow my words a lot. Gone are the time I truely speak my mind, now even with close friends I think twice before I open the hole in my head.

Subjects I swallow :

Insults and sacastic comments
There's a point of time where I have sort of lost control. Insults and sacastic comments comes so naturally to me that I can't differentiate if I'm joking or not anymore. In the process I've pissed off many people and lost a friend or two. I couldn't blame them for taking the joke seriously cause at that point of time I might not be joking at all. My apologises to those I've pissed. And if I've lost u as a friend, be glad to know that ur sacrifice is not in vain. But had made me a better person.

Work
I'm starting to realise that confidential has a true meaning to it. I'm so glad of the many times I manage to keep my mouth shut about work when I thought of the repercussions if I didn't. Truely confidential stuff I will pretend that I've never heard of it. When ever I mention about work and I tell my friends its confindential, they will say "ya la like all the stuff u said is confidential..." So Since it doesn't benefit me to tell them, and they don't really seem interested, I might as well don't say.

Personal View
I used to like sharing my personal view about stuff, especially when its against or should i say different from others opinon. I find that discussion will breed new thoughts. But these days I'm too tired to prove my point any more. Personal opinons are usually reply with, "who are u to tell me what to think/do" ,"I'm only listening to you because I'm polite enought not to shut you up" and "who cares who u think?". It takes time and effort to share my view but others doesn't really welcome it, so I might as well don't say.

Explanations
I feel that, for some reasons, I don't play by other's rules anymore. i don't reall feel the need to explain my actions. So things are don't and that's it. No explanations needed. i'm just me.

Gossips
I've seen how friends gossip behind each others back and in the end small groups are form to secretly hate each other. I can't be bothered to be in this "little groups" anymore. I personally felt that opinons and hate grew strong as gossips increase. Sorry, count me out next time.

Seems that slience really is golden : D

The Weaker Sex

I think in our generation, we have observed the greatest uprising in mankind. Within this 20 plus years, women has rise from being the weaker sex to equal sex, and in a few years to come, the greater sex. Guys, its time to either face reality or go for a sex change.
One of the main reson that cause our defeat is ego. In a guy's world, we either win or die. Losin is never an option. And when we are challenged by girls the stakes get higher. A usual misconception is tha girls will always lose. So it becomes acceptable if a girl lose , but if she wins she's increadible. For a guy its acceptable to win, but if he loses, he the ultimate disgrace/ scum/loser/maggot... Can you feel the pressure we are facing?
The second reason is that guys need gals more than gals need guys. In the process to please them, we allow ourselves to do whatever fuck shit possible, as long as girls like it. At first we must be SNAG, then after that metrosexual... what next? Want us to be butches? Guys in their neverending quest to please gals have been slowly falling into their trap. Don't be surprised to see guys wif flea collars on next time, cause it >insert squeeky cute voice< "Look soooo cute on you".
Finally, Guys are desperate. An average guy have 2 heads, both think of sex at all times. A desperate and horny guy is easily manipulated. Look at the number of rebound guy out there, everyone is queeing up to be the rebound guy. Look at the clubs, gals are the real players. They can choose who to dance/bua/flirt with, and any guy will be happy to be there for it.
So face it guys, our times are over. Let's just surrender and let the females walk over us.... pray that they are not wearing high heels.

Wished upon a star

Stumbled, dazed, couldn't concentrate,
as I staggered home at night.
Work and scheduels filled my mind,
deadline's running tight.

Every night I secretly hoped, a car would run me down,
Finally! no more work, I'll smiled as I hit the ground.
But I better be sure that the accident would leave me dead,
If not after I recover, even MORE work awaits.

(3 more months...... to peace)