Sorry guys (monotone bows down)

2 blogs in a day is not a lot. Considering that i have not been blogging for so long. Lack of time is an excuse but the real reason is.... i have nothing concrete to write. To tell the truth, more then 3 times i have wriiten a blog till half and i just delete it cause its not well written.
But fuck it man. Nothing here is well written, i should maintain my inital use of this blog as a mental dump. some blog ideas that are half written :

Lord of the journey to the western ring

A piece written about LOTR ripping off the chinese classic Journey to the west.
Weak leader wif pure heart = Tripitaka (nice dish for the demons teriyaki tripitaka) aka the hobbit.
Yandao fighter = monkey god aka legolas.
Low profile character= sandy aka arragon.
Character for everyone to make fun of = pigsy aka drawf
Long white hair = horse aka gandof

Valentine : bleeds from the heart

An entry about why buddish dun feel fuck up on christmas, why malaysian dun feel shitty on singapore's national day BUT why singles felt worst then death on the dreadful V day. Loneliness.

Internet : power to the ppl.

An observation on how the internet makes the abnormal normal. For example a closet SM gay who likes to fuck chicken found that there are people like him in ... lets say an internet forum. So he found that he is not abnormal and its actually ok. Sooner or later this SM gay who likes to fuck chicken group gets bigger and they form a website and more ppl join in. SM gays who fucks human decided to give it a try and there are more SM gays who likes to fuck chickens. Its only a matter of time before they are just normal ppl. So, wats is normal? Is it a matter of numbers?

Shallow depth.

Insipired by a certain person on how shallow people tries to act cheem. And how cheem is cheem anyway.

So this is the stuff u have missed due to my ... fuck up ness . Sorry dudes, will try to update more next time. Will be more leanient wif myself and accept lower standards : ).

Routine

Whoever says a designer leds an interesting life should get shot. Its the creative line they say, everyday is a new day, everything is interesting. Fuck yeah.

My daily routine in the creative line :

wake up 9.30 am . Fuck around a bit. play some ps2. get out of house at 10 30am.
Walks to office.
Plays 9 33 fm on my handphone. Reach office at 10 50. Pulls out handsfree set. Put on earphone at work. Sign in msn. Surf net in this order : cgtalk > xiaxue > mail.yahoo.com > potatomusmaximus > soooosh
Work.
12.30 lunch. Walks around beach road. eat , talk cock a bit, drink tea o peng. colleague smoke a cigeratte before we go back office.
Work.
tea break at 5 plus. talk cock a bit.
Work.
dinner at around 8 plus. colleague will meet gf for dinner. eat . Talk a lot of cock. colleague smokes 2 cigerettes b4 we go back at 9 plus.
Work.
shut down comp.Walks home at 10 30 wif 9 33 fm on my handphone. Thinks a bit about wat to do tomorrow. Try to avoid the 3 huge dogs on my way back.
Reach home.
Bath. surf net a bit . gossip on msn. play some ps2 till 1 plus. Fuck around a bit. read some comics. sleep before 2 am.

Repeat


Well, humans live in cycles. We can never get out of it. No life is not routine of some sort. U jus have to notice it.

I was walking down the streets and it dawn upon me that I was walking too fast. I told myself, "Hey, slow down. What's the hurry? Stop and smell the roses." So, then I froze, rooted to the ground, take a look around, wanting to find the beauty in everyday life.

But I can't.

Life is shitty, hard as I try to appreciate.

I hurried on , in search of roses ahead.

(monotone have been living in hope of the future since 1982)

Emptiness Happiness

People who know me knows that I can't smile. I can only laugh. I'm one of those fuckers that never smile in a photo shot. Why?

For most people , smile = happy : laugh = very happy
For me its , smile = genuinely happy : laugh = acting happy

At this point you might be thinking, don't you laugh a lot? Are you acting all this time?
My reply is yes and no.

I like to make people happy, seeing that makes me happy. Laughing is contagious. Therefore when I'm acting happy I make others very happy therefore I'm genuinely happy. Get it?

Facial expression is a by product of feelings. Being sad will make you cry but crying doesn't make you sad. That's why there are actors. Alcohol makes me laugh, its an experience I term Emptiness Happiness cause there's nothing to be happy about. Come to think about it, there is nothing to be really happy about in life.

Next time when you see me, try to catch if I'm really happy -___-